Friday, August 6, 2010

I had given up on this blog but a good friend that understands exactly what I am going through has inspired me to keep it going. It will be such an awesome feeling to look back at the struggles that don't matter anymore once we are finally holding our baby in our arms.
I have not made much progress since my last update. I did finally have my hysteroscopy even though I did not stop bleeding in time for my next appointment. The doctor did use a vacum to clean out my uterus so he could see everything that he needed to check on and yes it was as fun and as comfortable as it sounds. My poor loving, wonderful and amazing husband sat beside me holding my hand while they did it. He is my rock! On the days that I feel like my world is falling down around me he is the one strong wall that holds me up! I am the luckiest girl in the world and I know I should be happy with that yet I still have that empty place in my heart and the feeling that something is missing! I get so excited when I think about the day we finally get to hold the missing piece of our little family- I can only imagine how amazing that will be.
After the hysteroscopy and biopsy we finally got the go ahead for our iui and I was ridiculously excited. Unfortuneatley there have been some set backs so far and of course I am dissapointed but I am not loosing hope. THe first month my iron was very low so I went on birth control for a month and took as much iron as I could handle. THe next cycle came and my iron levels were fine but the clinic realized they forgot to do our bloodwork required for iui. We got the bloodwork done but when the next cycle rolled around they realized that they forgot one test. Finally, this cycle we were ready to go. I went for my day 3 ultrasound Wednesday but it didn't go as planned. Dr R saw something in my uterus that he thought may have been a polyp. I felt and still feel so crushed. I don't know why but the thought never crossed my mind that the appointment wouldn't go smoothly. I have to go back for another ultrasound to see if it is still there and if it is I will have to have it removed. I will keep my head up because I know that this is just one small bump in this road and I am hoping we will be ready to do the iui on my next cycle.
I know if one positive thing comes from this infertility struggle it will be that I will never take one moment with my family for granted. I will tell my child how much I love him/her every single day.

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